End of China trip - One broken dad and a ball of fun

     This week has flown by but was full of interesting events for sure. First off I must say how amazing our guide John was. He went out of his way to ensure we got what we needed and was very happy to share his Cantonese customs and culture with us. I think he was excited to have some westerners that liked being adventurous with food and not just looking to replicate hamburgers and fries. Your guides really can make a difference in your trip and I am thankful that the Barker team selected some great folks to help us on this trip.
     Our first stop this week aside from some visa pictures was to visit Shamian island home to   probably the most influential hotel known to so many families who have past through Guangzhou to adopt, the white swan hotel. Its too bad it was not open as it definitely would have been awesome to stay there for its history as well as its perfect location to a nice serene island. The island itself is filled with open space and old colonial buildings. The statues in the main square are not to be missed and from what I'm told visiting adopting families love taking pictures of the lady playing violin with kids in tow and posting to blogs so here is my contribution to keeping that going. My personal favorite though was the two clowns one Western and other Eastern a simple symbol of both sides laughing with each other to bring happiness.

     Next stop on the adventure was the medical visit. Ella did absolutely fine and the dreaded TB test was taken. Daddy Sherpa not so good. While in the clinic I was squatting down and got up to fast and twisted just a bit causing some excruciating knee pain which essentially took me out for a full day and hobbled me the rest of the trip. Thankfully our guide was a big fan of ancient herbal medicines etc and brought me to this pharmacy where we procured some spray and funny smelling bandages. I have no idea what they were, had cool tiger on it, but it worked well enough that I could struggle through until I got stateside.
     Ella and Momma spent the next day at the zoo while this hobbled sherpa layed in bed with ice all day. From what I'm told if you want to see Panda's go to the Washington, DC zoo. The zoo in Guangzhou has them but your not likely to see any. Overall this Chinese zoo seemed to get bad ratings on trip advisor but I think it has improved greatly.
   On to Canton Tower. Having been to the top of CN tower in Toronto I wasn't too excited with this one.  Although Canton tower is much taller and the view is amazing. From the top its a sea of high rises.  Of course for the ultimate cheesiness is the rides at the top and yes we took part in the horizontal Ferris wheel which is the worlds highest at 450M. Worth it? I'll put it at maybe although how often will you get a chance to ride a record setting Ferris wheel? Canton tower at night is pretty special with its dynamic light show. If you get the chance a river cruise on the pearl is worth the effort and gives you a chance to see this spectacle all lit up.
   We wrapped up the week with our consulate visit and a trip over to the temple of the six banyans. The temple was not far from the Marriott, walking distance really unless your on a bad leg and its raining. Then opt for the taxi for a few dollars. Visiting this temple was high on my list as I embrace  Buddhism and read that the monks bless newly adopted children which sounded special. Maybe the rain slowed things down or we just didn't realize how to go about things in the temple but as high on the list for me it was it didn't live up to expectations. An optional stop as anyone who has traveled in Europe knows, once you visit one huge church they all sort of blur.

   
  The consulate visit was a cake walk compared to all the paperwork and bureaucracy we have jumped through over past two years on this journey. The  man working here obviously loves his job or is just ridiculously bored with the repetitiveness and has a fantastic sense of humor. He made the final stop painless, quick, and fun. A combination you typically do not experience from any government worker and for that we are thankful for him. 
  Homeward bound!

Guangzhou - Diversity in every city

    Our flight from Nanning to Guangzhou although delayed a bit went better than anyone traveling with a toddler could imagine. Ella slept most of the way and played quietly the rest. Although our poor travel companions didn't fair as well with their new family member wailing and fussing the entire flight. Just shows that you have to be prepared for either as every child handles situation vastly different and so far along this journey we have always thought up the worst case and thankfully received the better case instead.
    As cities go we are noticing each one is a little unique and comparing Nanning to Guangzhou is like comparing apples and oranges. I realized this right off as we arrived really late to the Marriott and the only place open was a 7-11, yes just like home, and a McDonalds. Dawn and Ella settled in to the room and I ran to get something from McDonald's to get us through the night till breakfast(yes, breaking my boycott on fast food to satiate hunger pains and some sanity). I wasn't out the door of the Marriott two minutes and some Lady solicited me for a "massage". Given it was 11PM at night I have a feeling it was an all inclusive type offer. Needless to say Guangzhou is a large city with all that goes with such places so if your from some small town you should prepare as if you were headed to Manhattan. I will add at no time did we feel uncomfortable or worried for safety and the Marriott is in a good part of town across from a beautiful park.
     The other aspect of this part of the trip which took us by surprise was when we headed down the first morning to the buffet breakfast at the hotel. A very surrealistic moment as we noticed the dinning area was packed. It was full with others just like us, a sea of multicultural adoptive families, high chairs everywhere. This took us by surprise and was a big departure from the solitude we had in Nanning. According to our guide there were about 30 families staying at the Marriott this week and another 30 or so in other area hotels, all processing out this week. On one level it was amazing and oddly beautiful to see so many new families in one place. On the other hand I felt a little sad that this is the norm and that there were so many children that were being exported away from their cultural heritage to foreign shores due to the economics and governmental policies. The issue is a complex one of course and being on the receiving side of one of China's beautiful treasures I can only be grateful for how it is today at this moment and hope that in the future things work out so there are less children abandoned in China and in need of homes and care. Maybe some of the folks we saw driving Maserati's here or at home will decide to spend their money on something more valuable in the future? 
  
    We have a week here and are looking forward to seeing the sites that we have read on other blogs like the infamous Shamian island. On the process side of things the big hurdle this week aside from avoiding U.S. government computer malfunctions, which apparently derailed some folks a few months ago and made headlines in our local paper, is the medical tests that the adopted children need to go through prior to leaving the country, especially the TB test. If your not familiar with TB the situation is if the child does not pass the TB test then you don't get to leave this week. A real bad situation of a long wait in medical isolation working through that nightmare is something no one wants for certain. I was a bit anxious as I asked the guide if any kids had not passed and he reluctantly said yes it has occurred but very rare. I took comfort in statistics on this one and tried not to cross any imaginary nightmare bridges we dreamed up. The last thing we want right now is to extend this trip any longer than need be as we are very anxious to get home to our boys. Fingers crossed and Shamian Island tomorrow.

More from Nanning first week lessons

     The rest of our week in Nanning was essentially spent touring around the city with a lot of time to take naps and walks in the local parks while we waited for Ella's Chinese passport to come back.
Day 6  we visited the heritage museum. Was typical museum showing different tribes and customs of the region. The bronze drums  and all the artisan crafts were interesting. Good slow day.
Day 7 was a day on our own. Headed over to this huge park to play and picnic.

    I have this perception in my head of what life was like for Ella at the orphanage. I imagine she didn't get out much nor get to run and play in large spaces. Of course I have no clue the reality of it as the information we have on how she lived these past few years was reduced to a paper saying she like con-gee and rice, naps twice a day and likes to play by herself. From what I can tell the sheet of paper is standard issue as no matter how we serve it up she has yet to eat any con-gee. I tasted it and can totally understand why too. So the time we have in the park really was magical as we see her light up what we take as her first time down a slide and have the freedom to just be a kid and run, roll in the grass and stomp in puddles. We may not have been around for her first steps but can lay some big, proud claims on her enjoying her first slide down a slide, plane ride and I'm sure a ton of other firsts as time goes on.

We  head to Guangzhou this weekend.

     In the past whenever we traveled we would pack the day full from morning to night and having the agency plan our itinerary was a blessing in disguise as it was just the opposite. Half day of doing stuff and a ton of down time which really made things easier on us all as we learn Ella's needs etc. Our time in Nanning started out hectic and overwhelming but quickly ended relaxed and routine and we found this city was fun and culturally stimulating.  The city planners in China really surprised me with the vast amount of space dedicated to parks which afford you the ability to go somewhere quiet and relax in a city of a few million. If you do find yourself headed to Nanning be prepared for weather similar to Florida. There are tons of scooters everywhere and they go wherever they want and don't seem to follow any rules of the road. Crossing the streets is like playing frogger. Overall its not much of a departure from any major city in the U.S. and you can find just about everything you could want.
      If you stay at the Marriott be sure to walk around the corner to Umoli's bakery cafe, it looks like a coffee shop but was our favorite place to have dinner. The owner and her husband are wonderful hosts and committed to "clean" food. Dinners were inexpensive and amazing and from what we heard is also a great place for breakfast or a real cup of coffee. A must for any adoptive parents in Nanning.

Green Mountain Park or Qingxiu Shan

Day 5 - .
Beautiful park set up in mountain outside Nanning, China about 40 min from Marriott hotel. Ella seemed nervousness getting on bus but quickly settled down and spent rest of day smiling and playing. She does tend to shut down a bit in public, gets very quite. Soon as she is back in room it is go time and she runs jumps and plays. My non scientific reasoning for the shutdown is its a normal response for an adopted child who really has been isolated from the real world.  Park was fun we fed some fish and took pictures with our zodiac statues.

Then we climbed a few hundred steps(nine stories) to the top of Longxiang tower. Earning my Daddy Sherpa title as a majority of the climb was with a princess on my back. The top of the pagoda offers a fantastic view of the city and is well worth the effort to get to top.

In the evening we hit the Mixc mega mall and everyone did fine. Date night with my girls, huge nice dinner and some clothes shopping. Note for those thinking everything in China is a bargain...nope. This mall was legit high end and prices were about same costs we would find at home. There are plenty other places in China to go bargain hunting as we are told and will explore deeper into that later in week.

Day 4- Putting the Past Behind

    This morning we head back to the same government building to finalize the Chinese part of the adoption from that point on she is officially in China's eyes our child. I don't really want her going back nor seeing people from the orphanage. We are in such a good place this morning I hate to loose ground and have her get worked up repeating what I perceive as a traumatic experience moving away from the people from the orphanage. At this moment I just want to move forward and lock her last four years behind all of us.


    My concerns were all for naught as the finalization went very well. Fact is those four years I wanted to lock in the past will be important to Ella and will always hold a place in our lives and as with many things I am learning during this journey my initial thoughts and feelings sometime turn out to be incorrect and I wish we had more time to get to know the caretakers from the orphanage, verse my thoughts at breakfast today.
    The highlight of the morning was a bit emotional as the older woman from the orphanage presented Ella a beautiful little silver bracelet. Something of a tradition families give newborns at birth. We all lost emotional control at that moment. Such a simple beautiful gift, a symbol of birth, that hopefully Ella will have forever to reflect back on as she begins her new life with us.
     The time came to say goodbyes to these wonderful people who cared for Ella for past four years. Ella hugged her nanny but quickly moved on to waving bye-bye and chasing me around with big smiles.

     So many laughs this morning and running around playing. She's been so fun and at lunch ate a huge bowl of fried rice and used her first English word "More" with signs too. Guess what? Yep Dawn and I lost control of emotions again. Such a small thing so soon really rocked us hard.

                                                    The quiet of nap time. Peaceful sleep for all.

What some call "Gotcha Day"

Day 3 - Monday December 8, 2014 
       Ella you have waited four years for today. Our eyes only recently opened to your need. Today we put the past behind and move forward. We promise to keep you safe and in comfort. Let the games begin! We are strong and ready.

   What a day!  Four families all together in non descriptive government office and emotions were high all around. You could cut the anticipation with a knife. When the kids arrived we all watched them go into the play area. No one really lost it.  Ella came in wearing a little bear outfit with a pink jacket and what look to be boys brown sneakers. What I'm calling her hiking sneakers. She looks well and in need of a bath. Very quiet with big inquisitive stares. When the nanny left is when the tears came and Ella lost it for about an hour on trip back to hotel. Howled at one point but we passed through that wall with some quiet cocoon time. Dawn used all her energy to keep herself and the situation together. Having a strong partner in this really pays off and I truly love the strength my wife showed. Ella and I  bonded a bit over an apple. After a good period of calming we joined the other couple who adopted a two year old girl and happen to be in rooms next to us for the executive buffet dinner "happy hour". The thinking this would be a good quick, quiet spot. It was.  No smiles just watching her new world.

   After dinner we went up to room and decided a bath would be smart. Some boy had recently bit her toe and it looked a bit rough, she also had some old bug bites on her legs but  the grandma of our travel companions who happens to be  a nurse seemed to think all was looking OK.

   Bath was the bridge. Actually a water bottle boat in bath was the hit. She gave me the biggest smiles for first time and at one point laughed out loud. I'll admit that's when I fell over in my heart and tears of joy just rained down. A small connection with her was established and hopefully just the start of lots of laughing and smiles to come.

    After bath Dawn put her in some nice new pj's and wow what a difference a bit of soap, hair combing and new clothes can do for a little lady. She looked so pretty. Ella sat on my lap and I read her the going to bed book, seemed to like it and afterward she played with her new book for long while. At one point I just had to let Dawn go to bed because the weight of the day was wearing her down hard. So we laid Ella in her crib and turned out the lights. Goodnight moon, we were all done.

Off to Nanning

December 7 - Day 2 - back to airport for flight to Nanning in Southern, warmer China. T-minus 24 hours to meeting Ella. We are getting very anxious, the gravity of this trip is setting in. Reality of all we have been building to is sitting less than 24 hours from now and can feel emotions building.

In Nanning we went off to the Chinese version of Virginia's "Tyson's corner mall" to find dinner and explore. Eight story mega mall called Mixc, with all top brands like Gucci etc. The language barrier continues to be overbearing and frustrating. Not even being able to read makes navigating very hard. No real diner tonight as we were tired, emotional and just done - fries, some hot jerky and cold "real" beer. Yes I found some Chimay in a small coffee shop behind the mega mall!

Day 1 Great Wall and Summer Palace

December 6 -

Started day with huge breakfast buffet, both Western and Eastern food to try which made it a easy transition. Fun item of the morning is I learned all the desk girls at Marriott have made up name tags.  Best part they lean toward stripper names Tiffany, Candy, Mercedes.. the one that gave it away Rapunzel.
Headed out with our guide Tracy first stop a jade factory run by the Chinese government. Learned all about jade and how to spot fakes and made for a good stop, we latter in week realize prices here were pretty decent. We purchase Ella a small tiger as they tell us folks here buy zodiac symbols for little girls.
Next stop The Great Wall. It is about hour out from city and up near mountains. We hiked a section near mountain pass. Very steep heart pounding climb for about 45 min up. Felt good to get blood flowing after long flight. Beautiful smog free day and quickly learned this wall goes on forever. Pictures won't capture this place at all, was very meaningful hike drenched in history.

Lunch buffet at a Cloisonné factory, (Cloisonné- very intricate painted vase ).

Summer palace - it was getting cold so we moved fairly quick through here but this place must be beautiful in summer. Near lake and lot of architecture to look at, history. The long hall is very long which the emperor built for his mother so she can stroll in rain. Our travel companion joked how he must have been a mamma's boy. I say over achiever as the walk was so intricately detailed and at I think 700M amazing walk along the lake.

We decided to do early dinner off somewhere away from hotel. Our guide said the peeking duck is a must do in Beijing. She was right. First time during trip where we were the only Caucasians in room and pretty much only English speaking. We ordered a 10 course event having no idea what that was. Turned out to be every part of the duck plus more, a dinner feast. Most of us ate the strange curled thing which after we did found out they were duck feet. Score one strange food on travel bingo. Pretty sure we ate some duck hearts as well. Lot of food but not a huge fan of duck. Glad we did it though.
It was on us to navigate our way back to hotel. This turned out a challenge as no one in this section of town spoke any English and hailing a taxi became an event. All worked out fine eventually but huge reminder that we are off the grid in big way in a place were you can't read or communicate much of anything. Note to others- be sure to get a taxi card from the hotel front desk, Marriott does not translate well to cab drivers.  I imagine the frustration I felt tonight getting a taxi is how Ella will feel communicating to us near term.

We made it...well at least to China!

December 5 - A very long flight with lots of movies. We finally land  in Beijing. Nothing eventful tonight very tired after long flight. Staying at Marriott City Wall and have to say the  executive suite is awesome and hotel really feels like a stateside Marriott. Highlight of day was the Chinese Santa Claus in hotel lobby and the model train with a dogfish beer car really feels like home except everyone is Chinese.

Tick tock its time to pack!

Thankfully both of us are experienced in the art of international travel but a trip of this nature takes a ton more work than one would think. For one your actually packing for three as there are zero guarantees that your child will meet you with anything more than the clothes she is wearing.  The geek side

Where in the world is Luchuan?

Not long ago we were matched to MingSha Lu who for the past 4 years has been in the care of the Luchuan social welfare institute in the Guangxi province of Southern China. Like most I had no idea where this place was nor did I know much about it. To me China was Beijing, Shanghai, big walls and cute pandas. 

If I ever need a hiding spot this may be the place.Apparently Luchuan SWI is small and remote and not many have populated the web with info about it. I have to truly thank the folks at http://conelcorazonenchina.blogspot.com/2009/09/luchuan-swi-guangxi.html and Jiu jiu's uncle at http://thejiujiujournal.blogspot.com.es/ for all the wonderful info they uncovered and shared including pictures of the orphanage and details we just didn't have. Many times along this journey you feel like your flying blind waiting for someone to file a paper or provide some scrap of info which will help fill in the puzzle. Reading those blogs truly helped us and we hope to pass that on by adding our own blog to the folks down the road looking for the crumbs of where their child is now, the city they are in and conditions, culture and connections.Advice- seek out and connect with others who have ventured down the path. It's helpful for both info and piece of mind.

Luchuan is one of the districts of the city of Yulin. A population of 830,000. Its 155 square kilometers are dotted with hot springs. Due to its high content of chemical elements and many trace elements, water from these sources have remarkable medicinal properties.Tropical climate and surrounded by farms is something I can embrace.

From what we have found this is the front of Luchuan SWI. The place our daughter is waiting for us.

Who and Why?

Many who blog about their adoption experience, which we call our adventure, typically start at the commencement of the paperwork process. Sorry we are skipping that part in this blog as it really was a very boring arduous task that involved a ton of fingerprints and fees and I figured it wouldn't be too exciting. So I am starting from the week before we travel to China toward the  big day when we become parents of a little four year old girl we have nicked named princess lulu. Her real new name is actually Ella.

But before we get into all the travel fun. Who are we and why are we setting out on this adventure? Looking back the seed of adoption was actually planted way back when attempting to start a family and we had a few stumbles. That all worked itself out and we managed to produce two awesome boys the way nature lets it. The boys were so much fun and easy we found ourselves chatting, likely over good wine, about adding one more to our family. Not an easy discussion as everything in our world was going perfect and smooth, my initial thought why complicate it with another. That argument didn't hold to strongly and we agreed that one more child in the house would be additive fun.
Having had two kids the good old fashioned way had been done so what fun would that be. We tend to lean toward trying new things. True trier's not criers.  That's when the thought of adoption really surfaced again and we decided that we had the means and desire so why not. And once we had the initial meetings with the Barker Foundation we were sold. Our eyes were opened to so much and the drive to provide a home for just one child seemed so little but a great step forward.  For an added twist we went with the China waiting child program.
To say there is just one reason for the why would be impossible as the decision to adopt is complex and runs the gambit of wanting a bigger family, maybe a little girl, take one less child from a orphanage situation, to boosting my karma. In the end it's the right thing to do in my mind no matter how challenging it may be at times going forward. www.barkerfoundation.org  
So follow along as we venture out this week, I'll try my best to keep updates rolling.